On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
