The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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