What a fucking waste of an outfit
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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