around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
