remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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