New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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