omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
