Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
