Is it normal to miss your booty call?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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