i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
