her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
