Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
