I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
