I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
