sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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