i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
