wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My cat gives me a boner
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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