I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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