Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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