do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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