U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
