what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
