you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
