Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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