So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
