How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
