That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
