I've blown a few things in my day
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Found your dick twin last night
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
