1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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