I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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