If that was your dad, he is hot
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
