Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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