I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
