i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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