I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
