All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
