If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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