Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
True college students do jello shots in the library
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
