I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
