Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
