i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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