i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And then the night went full on bisexual.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
