i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
