My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
