When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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