i think my tv is drunk
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
