absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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