It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
