For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
