Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
