You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
