umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
