you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
