New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
